Tree Wyrm
@TreeWyrm

I create poetry, artwork, music, and thoughtful commentary — pieces that explore imagination, emotion, and the world around us. My work lives across YouTube, Bandcamp, and RedBubble, and I hope to grow it into larger projects like illustrated books and recorded readings.

Because of chronic physical health conditions, neurodivergence, and the long‑term effects of trauma, I can’t maintain regular, conventional employment. Contributions here help me live and give me the stability to sustainably keep working in ways that I can. I want to prove that I -can- work... Just not in the rigid, conventional, employment‑shaped box that breaks me.

A bit more detail for those of you who particularly like backstories:

Most of what I do is spontaneously improvised; I struggle to 'create on command'. This especially applies to my music, and art. At least with my poetry and creative writing: I can re-structure it if needs be! In all seriousness though: now that I have embraced this way of doing things, I realise that all along I was practising the skills that would save me from all that I have been through...

I would struggle to play a known piece of music (even if I were able to sight-read), or set out to plan a landscape painting. Actually the first time I tried painting an autumn landscape it turned into a cartoon water dragon top-down swimming in a pond with friends. So clearly that went as intended (!). I no longer wish to bang my head on the piano because I just played a piece perfectly after twenty five attempts, then on the twenty sixth needed to relearn a section (inconsistency is key).

Some of these issues partly arise because my eyes have a habit of occasionally darting off whatever I'm trying to focus on (I recently learned that isn't something everyone contends with). Well that puts paid to most attempts at true-life illustration! Meanwhile I also struggle to perfectly place my fingers on the specific piano keys (or paintbrush or pencil to canvas or paper) as intended; I seem to suffer tiny spontaneous intermittent motor control glitches. Most bizarre of all: I momentarily forget (after playing since the age of eight, and keyboard since the age of four...) which nearby notes are the ones I shouldn't expect to sound nice. Weren't expecting that B-flat, were you?!

This is akin to a recent hilarious episode in which I called my bank to explain that they had blocked me from sending money to my other bank, when all that had actually occurred was that I had forgotten I simply needed to 'scroll down' the app to find payees other than my other same-bank accounts. How embarrassing! Meanwhile the frustration of not being able to follow steps in order of a process, is a fabulous way to sabotage intentional art, but -has- landed me the epic title of 'Mad Scientist' in the kitchen.

This is (some of) my neurodivergency in practice. Yet I have learned by the way that early on I began adapting my music, that I could do the same with art: I can literally make an impromptu paint spatter into a bug into an feature. Hitting a wrong note: I flow with it and take the piece somewhere completely unexpected.

Text is different. Text is my nemesis. I will sit there perfecting it repeatedly... probably because it's the only opportunity I have to do that. Of course... with every new edit: a new mistake! Text mistakes cannot be easily turned to ones advantage, but at least we can correct it.

This 'adapt to your mistakes' skill may not help me with that banking app, but it has absolutely helped me survive the trauma of my lived life experiences. For every 'mistake' I have made or 'dark turn of events' that has occurred (and there have been many of those, some very dark indeed): I have proven myself adept at avoiding the worst consequences, while finding a silver lining and even, sometimes, turning the scenario to my advantage.

I think that's a skill worth sharing.